having one of those weeks, so far 

seems like an eon or so, frankly, but i guess thats just one of those perception things 

 

damn numbness is back 

what's going on.............sobbing all the time was the pits, but now i'm just not feeling anything again.........can't i just have little bits of each (numb sometimes, feeling sometimes)?

 i managed not to cry today.............tho i did come close  

as the numbness wears off, i just find myself crying all the time

it hurts so much............maybe the numbness was better, i don't know

i guess i just have to work thru it.............and that'll just take time........too bad there isn't a magic button i can push to help me get thru it more easily  

feelings have never been my strong point..........i'm just not used to feeling..............

the sense of numbness is wearing off..........................now i can't stop crying..................

and for some reason i feel light-headed and dizzy; what's that all about?  i really wanted to blog more here, but i swear i have to get horizontal on a volunteer basis, before i end up there non-voluntarily..........

 

just thought of an advantage (if you can call it that) to widowhood

 

control of the remote!!!!! 

sometimes i think i'm getting use to being a widow; and then there are times when i start thinking i've got to tell him what this person said, or something, and then it hits me all over again.......like a ton of bricks

 

i hope things get better

 

ah,well...........